Intermission

This play is being brought to you by these proud sponsors:

Chia Pets - Now with a Joe Bidin version. See what Joe would look like with a full head of hair.

The Clapper - That wonderful device that has your lights going off and on by themselves on July 4.

And Bull of Heaven condoms - If anything gets out of that condom you can name him Houdini.

While you're up why not head to the lobby where you can try some of our delicious stale popcorn and watered down fruit drinks. Our candy counter is amply stocked with over sized and over priced candies guaranteed to keep the dentist busy all of next year.

A Christmas Carol D.C. style

Editors note: I can only hope I can do justice to something that Distributorcap would write and sorry no cute photoshoped images of Sarah Palin or the rest of the wingnut crowd. Think of Lionel Barrymore playing a character that's a cross between Scrooge and Mr. Potter of 'It's a Wonderful Life.'

Act I - The ghost of Christmas present

The scene opens with snow flakes starting to fall outside the D.C. office of Ebonezer McConnell. From behind his heavy oak office door you can tell the "Boner" is not happy.
"Dithers have you counted the funds from the insurance lobbyists yet?" bellows the Boner.
"No Mr. McConnell, not yet."
"Well why the hell not you lazy peon?"
"I'm still counting all the gold coin from the energy companies from when Bush and Cheney were in office." whined the manservant.
"Well get your lazy ass in gear. I want to get this wrapped up before the Christmas break. The guys from Wall Street are throwing a party and I don't want to miss it. There's even a rumor that Sarah Palin will pop out of a cake. You know what that means don't you?"
"No sir."
"Means I won't have to use those free samples of Viagra I got for doing the drug companies that big favor."
"What favor would that be?"
"Are you a dunce? Why Medicare part D of course." "Just love the way they came up with that big hole in the middle. We can drain em for every penny they've got. And you know I get kick backs er.. residules if they live past two years."

As the Boner slumps back in his big leather chair for a nice after lunch nap the room goes dark and things get all starry and magical.
Enter the ghost of Christmas present played by Ed Shultz

"You know folks if we don't get a public option then health care reform as we know it is dead."
"Just look behind me at the lines here at the mobile free health care clinic we've set up."
"Is this what you want for the American people Ebonezer?"
McConnell snaps from his afternoon nap. "Why sure, it was good enough for my great grandparents so why can't people buck up and live with it?"
"BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE DYING!" bellows the ghost, nearly shattering the windows.
"Are there no vouchers? Are there no free clinics?" the Boner states gruffly.

"And what's to become of Tiny Tim Geithner?" says the ghost.
"What about him?" grumbles the Boner.
"Well you take my hand and we'll go have a look" says the ghost
"I said take my hand, that's not my hand! screamed the ghost
Like a wisp of the wind the two were transported to the office of Tiny Tim.
There in a fake wood paneled office with Office Depot furniture was Tim slumped over his desk with a bottle of cheap scotch half full next to his monitor and a tipped over shot glass with it's dregs starting to stain the papers on his desk. On his computer screen was the beginning of an outline. Heading read "How to justify AIG executive bonuses." The roman numerals proceeded but nothing was written.
"Good ole Tim, injected Boner, he was almost as good as Scooter. But now his time looks like it's nearly up. Oh well that's what we do ghost. When you're part of our party you have to make sacrifices."
" Can we get on with this ghost? I need to get back to the hill to vote against any bill the Democrat party may come up with."
The ghost, "Sure as soon as you've taken my poll." "Tonight's question: Do you think Ebonezer can block any health care reform? press 1 for yes and 2 for no. The results after the third act.

Stay tuned for the next act coming soon....

Iraq robbery

Sometime in the years after the start of the Iraq war I recall reading the oil agreement that the interm government had drawn up with the U.S.(Yes I read obscure things like that because I like to know the truth.) Entirely written by the U.S. oil companies it was an obscene piece of work. I seem to remember (don't quote me on this) that the deal gave 90% of the money to the oil companies with but 10% going to the Iraqis. And I'm sure the oil companies could have taken most of the 10% with hidden fees and security costs.

The Plan
There was no real plan to rebuild Iraq. Most of that money was stolen anyway. But there sure was a plan to get the oil.
Even two years before the Iraq war started they (oil company execs and advisors) were planning this thing. This was nothing more than a home invasion robbery and a violent one at that. We cut the first line of defense. Had Dad running from the house to hid in a hole then took out his sons one by one so we could strike a deal with any remaining distant family members. For the largest asset the family had, oil. And now that we had the lions' share of the booty we leave the scraps to the rest of the world robbers waiting in the bushes.
So now we have what's left over after Haliburton got finished with the Iraqis The Scraps And the media makes it sound like these countries got most of the oil. Think again.

Friday Pussy

You can't tell I like the pussies.


And for the latest weekly bank failure update:
SolutionsBank Overland Park KS
Valley Capital Bank, N.A. Mesa AZ
Republic Federal Bank, N.A. Miami FL

Medical no coverage

I seem to recall senators on both sides of the aisle saying that we need health care reform just last year. Both sides were touting competition as the solution to rising costs. In looking at the Democratic platforms of the 08 campaign there was even a plank about health care for Americans which reads as follows and this is an exact cut and paste:

Provide high quality affordable health care
Access to high quality affordable health care is essential for every American. 
As a nation, we have the resources to provide this care for all our citizens, as well as for our guests. 
We have the knowledge, the skilled professionals, the technology and the funds. 

Now all of a sudden any hint of a public option or competition has been nearly ruled out. The first compromise was to eliminate competition by eliminating a public option for all but those 55 to 64 without insurance. And since this bill won't go into effect until some time in 2012 42,000 people will die due to lack of coverage.
If what I've been hearing is accurate then there is no real reform. Your senators have had their pockets lined with gold. The insurance companies have been shoveling money at our senators since last spring when the serious negotiations were started. And what has been the response of the republicans? Aside from dumping massive amounts of ammendments (and they wonder why the bill is so lengthy) they have attempted to fillibuster any attempts to get this legislation to the floor for a vote. They'd like nothing better than to stop the entire process and start over again. Well to them I say tell that to the patient with treatable cancer who's just had his coverage canceled because the insurance company and the hospital can't agree on reimbersments. Tell that to the guy who's been layed off and been without coverage for over a year.

Now the states are running short on funds and having to cut those at the bottom. I hear the SCHIP program may have to be cut because there isn't enough money. This was a program that was just expanded in February . People are being told to take their kids to the emergency room. Where's the logic in that? Now instead of a $100 doctor visit that could easliy been spread out among many will turn into a $500+ visit and tie up doctors and nurses who should be doing emergency work. The stupidity just overwhelms me. Does penny wise and pound foolish come to mind?

What's the real solution? I'd say a 3 to 4% national sales tax on all items except food with a sliding scale copay based on income would be more than enough to cover everyone. By spreading the risk or costs it would cost much less. Health care shouldn't be a privledge but a right of all Americans. We seem to have the funds to kill people, why can't we find the funds to save lives?

Where did all the words go?

Year and years ago I used to be able to pull words from my gray matter like a magician pulls rabbits out of his hat. Always the perfect word for the situation. In milliseconds I could come up with a razor sharp wit and put verbal bullies in their place. I once had a supervisor in near tears and running to his boss. Mattered not to me as he was a boob and nobody liked him anyway. Needless to say I don't like stupid people especially when my own skin is involved. But, where the hell was I? Oh yea, the loss of mental acuity. After spending 16 years stuffing my brain with information, somewhere along the trip some evil event happens. As if some invisible hole has been drilled somewhere in the back of the skull. Quickly painlessly the hole magically appeared. And you can't even tell it's there. So slowly without notice that mass of facts drips like a Chinese water torture out the back of your head never to return. It's not as if you notice this phenomena being so slow and painless. And it's not like stepping into a room only to realize you forgot why you went there in the first place. It's devilishly worse. Trying to remember an instructor of a few years back even though I've worked with him on numerous jobs and seen him several times since yet there I stand a total blank. Digging deep in the recesses of my mind trying desperately to not look the fool. I'll fake it. You know give that warm and cordial greeting. Great to see you again, haven't seen you in quite some time. Ah, it worked I've fooled him into thinking. But then as you are about to retire for the night and that area between sleep and awake slowly slips away his name comes to you and you rise up from the covers and shout "That's his name! Damn just couldn't think of it"

Buuut, then there's a book or a paper that you know you've read. The cover is part of the room decore you've passed it for years then in a moment of bordom you pick it up open and it's as if someone changed the words. Nothing formilar. Logic dictates that the words are the same but the mind changed. And just as you think it's coming back to you the mind goes on a tangent. You put the book down and wonder why you came in the room in the first place.

My stuff and your s#@t

Rodger Green got me to thinking about all the stuff we collect. I know I have things in a closet or bin that I haven't even looked at in well over ten years and yet there it will remain until for some reason (usually remodeling) it will get moved or donated or thrown out. I truly believe that we throw out enough junk to start another country. Maybe that would be a good way to get out of Afghanistan. We'll empty out our closets and send them all of our junk. Since they have almost nothing now it would be a windfall for them. In doing so we could quickly Americanize them to our materialistic way of thinking. Imagine them walking around in Nikes carrying ipods. And this would be far cheaper than using drones and expensive military hardware.

I used to have enough room for my stuff until somebody put their s#@t in the way. Now it's a constant task to move or throw things out. The never ending battle against clutter. This is now a never ending battle. A war that can not be won. A quagmire worse than any guerilla war.
And now we come to that time of year when stuff is what it's all about. How much loot did you get from Santa? Maybe I'll just be bad this year. I could use the coal to keep warm.